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Mains 2023 - In or out?

Kaisa raha mains ka result

jack_Sparrow,curious_kidand16 otherslike this
86k views

216 comments

@D7 yeah deferment is for getting job ex..which is usually used by freshers to become competitive during interns and placements.
Probably there's a mandatory clause of showing job ex during the time of deferment and won't be applicable for UPSC.
Again not absolutely sure.


5.2k views
Any source (other than syllabus) for topics to make thematic notes?
4.8k views
Appeared for CAT this time. Scoring 98.07 Percentile. But i am targetting GMAT and one year Executive MBA as i have 5 years work ex. Anybody else in the same boat as I am?

Civils Mains:2017,2018,2020,2021,Forest Mains:2021.

KingSlayer23,S_S_Singhand1 otherslike this
4.7k views

In with Pub Ad.

A silent spectator here since 2018,  but this platform has been quite helpful since then.

Congrats brother!

AdwitiyaRavi,Ankit_Samarwal
4.3k views
Didn’t get through :( 
TwoFace,Mahi2306
4.1k views
Deleted

Did any of you guys join SFG level 1?

If you did how are you managing your mains prep along with sfg. How long are you guys planning to stretch mains prep?

@Neyawn any thoughts on this.

3.5k views

Did any of you guys join SFG level 1?

If you did how are you managing your mains prep along with sfg. How long are you guys planning to stretch mains prep?

@Neyawn any thoughts on this.

I am not sure who you are in real life, and I would not like to know, but here are few things I want to tell you at 4AM.

One, you are a good candidate. People with your credentials on the community ( posts, comments, presence ) have done quite well in the exam.

And two, you just give it your best. Thats all. There are no rules. Try to study for 4-5 hours at max for the sfg if you have to balance prelims and mains, and give 3-4hours for mains. Dont do anything else.




I am no knight. Do not call me Sir

lawliet,Magnetozand4 otherslike this
3.4k views
@Averageaspirant Forum's MGP keyword document does the job well. However, the best source is still PYQs, so any topic-wise segregated PYQ compilation will work. 


Averageaspirant,
3.2k views

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 


Neyawn,D503and34 otherslike this
3.6k views

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

well said brother. wisdom borne out of experience :)

KingSlayer23,AB12and2 otherslike this
2.9k views

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

Is it the old kingslayer ?

Holy crap. Call meh!

You are the best!


I am no knight. Do not call me Sir

KingSlayer23,
2.8k views

Neyawnsaid

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

Is it the old kingslayer ?

Holy crap. Call meh!

You are the best!

Haha yes sir 

The last time we met, was our one on one before my interview in march this year. 

will get in touch asap :D 


2.8k views

Neyawnsaid

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

Is it the old kingslayer ?

Holy crap. Call meh!

You are the best!

Haha yes sir 

The last time we met, was our one on one before my interview in march this year. 

will get in touch asap :D 

Why didn't you tell me you were the one? I am so mad at you for this.


I am no knight. Do not call me Sir

KingSlayer23,
2.7k views

Neyawnsaid

Neyawnsaid

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

Is it the old kingslayer ?

Holy crap. Call meh!

You are the best!

Haha yes sir 

The last time we met, was our one on one before my interview in march this year. 

will get in touch asap :D 

Why didn't you tell me you were the one? I am so mad at you for this.

Haha I think I did mention my forum username that time because you asked me that why we hadn’t met before despite me beign associated with  MGP in each of my attempts :D

Also, don’t know if you remember but you were reasonably happy with my performance that day in one on one :D 


Neyawn,DancingMaster
2.7k views

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

It was a Long March to finish your essay but something kept me hinged till the very end. That Something was a weird familiarity with your journey as if someone was giving me the glimpses of my own past.

I also Graduated in 2018, wrote 19-20-21-22 pre, 20-21-22 main and zero interviews. Few years back I was very active on this platform, principally for entertainment, chit chat and stuff. While I now have a gazetted officer job thanks to SSC, I do want to reflect upon this critical aspect that you have discussed-The necessity to have plan b.

When we usually begin preparation, we are full of excess energy, excitement, ultra optimism and inexperience, all of which is antithetical to wisdom. (I was the same wisdom-deprived, over energetic kid half a decade back).We don't feel like wanting to ever acknowledge that we would ever fail in this exam. As a result we often deem considerations of plan b in life unnecessary and even pessimistic.

I ardently believe that your honest reflections about your CSE journey which has ended up in a total failure (like mine) will enable the fresh aspirants to give thought to the harsh realities of the exam. What harsh realities? One of them is that some of those who have cleared the exam but have not got IAS are also likely to write the exam again and they are better if not best. Above all, they have deciphered the code, the Matrix now belongs to their intellect and ability. So if originally the possibility of clearing exam was low, practically it's even lower.

Preparing for the worst is not about embracing defeat without even waging a war. It is about acknowledging that we are not invincible and that we deserve peace and happiness even if we eventually fail in the most glorious examination of the world the Upsc Cse.

Despite many similarities between your CSE journey and mine, there is but a major difference. While you are still going to write the exam, I have run out of the interest and spirit. Best wishes for your next cse attempt ( even if the wishes hardly matter :D )


Jajantaram Mamantaram
Neyawn,D503and13 otherslike this
2.4k views

Most of you probably won't know me, I was mainly active here between 2020 and 2022. Most of the people whom I knew are either out of this cycle or selected now. Here's a little about me, ComputerScience engineer graduated in 2018 and appeared for the exam five times in the period 2018-22. Wrote Mains thrice(2019,21 and 22) and appeared for the interview once (2022 cycle). About a year ago I was jubilantly and vigorously gearing up for the interview round and despite the best of my efforts and a threadbare prep where I had done very well in almost all the mock sessions and one-on-ones (including Forum's), I did not find my name in the Holy pdf back in May. Saving you all the pity party :P but goes without saying how rough and challenging it was to take. I am someone who has spent considerable time here and never believed in having a Plan B, each attempt I gave as my last and went in full tilt. 2019 was a novice's setback, as was 2020 (did not even qualify pre), 2021 was crushing (missed cutoff by 10 marks, despite scoring consistently well in MGP, etc), and 2022 well probably no better word other than soul-crushing, from doing well in PTS and MGP and writing the whole test series to the very last interview sitting that I had with Ayush sir everything seemed to fall in place this time but sadly it was not to be eventually. 

I skipped the 2023 prelims (for better or worse I still debate it) and spent the next few weeks pondering and ultimately decided to invest my time in skilling up to try and find a job in the IT sector. I learned Cloud computing and after feverishly applying for jobs ( it was a herculean task to land interviews in the current market) I finally secured a position as a trainee back in mid-October. 

In all honesty, it still hurts like anything despite now probably 7 months have passed, and I will give the final attempt (with the full-time job that I am doing) next year if nothing else just for my own sake and to find closure.

All I can say to the young aspirants is that probably it might not be a bad idea to invest in skilling oneself and having a viable employability option. This exam is notoriously unreliable and honestly most of the exam cycle right now is structured in an unfavorable way from the candidate's perspective, I do not wish to demotivate anyone and I know I would have thought a couple of years ago that only people who fail end up saying such things, but after a while, reality does strike and it is not a bad thing to keep an eye open there. 


Hopefully, the new year brings us all the things that we learn to cherish all our lives. 

It was a Long March to finish your essay but something kept me hinged till the very end. That Something was a weird familiarity with your journey as if someone was giving me the glimpses of my own past.

I also Graduated in 2018, wrote19-20-21-22pre, 20-21-22 main and zero interviews. Few years back I was very active on this platform, principally for entertainment, chit chat and stuff. While I now have a gazetted officer job thanks to SSC, I do want to reflect upon this critical aspect that you have discussed-The necessity to have plan b.

When we usually begin preparation, we are full of excess energy, excitement, ultra optimism and inexperience, all of which is antithetical to wisdom. (I was the same wisdom-deprived, over energetic kid half a decade back).We don't feel like wanting to ever acknowledge that we would ever fail in this exam. As a result we often deem considerations of plan b in life unnecessary and even pessimistic.

I ardently believe that your honest reflections about your CSE journey which has ended up in a total failure (like mine) will enable the fresh aspirants to give thought to the harsh realities of the exam. What harsh realities? One of them is that some of those who have cleared the exam but have not got IAS are also likely to write the exam again and they are better if not best. Above all, they have deciphered the code, the Matrix now belongs to their intellect and ability. So if originally the possibility of clearing exam was low, practically it's even lower.

Preparing for the worst is not about embracing defeat without even waging a war. It is about acknowledging that we are not invincible and that we deserve peace and happiness even if we eventually fail in the most glorious examination of the world the Upsc Cse.

Despite many similarities between your CSE journey and mine, there is but a major difference. While you are still going to write the exam, I have run out of the interest and spirit. Best wishes for your next cse attempt ( even if the wishes hardly matter :D )

My man, I think I do remember seeing your comments here and there on forum few years ago. I’m glad you could relate with me on few things and I hope writing your thoughts helped you as it did for me. You should not call yourself a failure at all, felt really good reading that you are an officer now. My personal salute to your spirit. I’m happy that you are content now while working I wish you the best. On my part, well yeah I too felt that the same spirit is not there but I still feel there’s unfinished business for me here. 

Your wishes mean a lot! :D thank you


Neyawn,Foucault1and6 otherslike this
2.3k views
@KingSlayer23 100% agree on this. 
I am out of this cycle and working from a year in a private sector. And I feel the same as you regarding upskilling.
Btw , which sources did you use to learn cloud computing ? And which skills are you eyeing now to learn in future?( Just curious to know)


KingSlayer23,
2.1k views

today happens to be the last day of 2023 and tomorrow another year would have passed. and right after waking up i knew this is not going to be a good day. i could already foresee the glimpses of the old familiar dark blob of feelings hovering around.  each passing year brings me closer to the question that i used to ask veterans when i was starting upsc prep - jinka nhi hota upsc wo kya karte. i never thought one day it would be me on the other side face to face with this question. i am almost done with upsc and now i think it’s not so much about wo kya karte hai but more about jo bhi karte hai usme kabhi khush reh paate hai kya knowing that they pursued something obsessively sacrificing everything for it (money, time, age, relationships etc) and still didn’t get it.   mujhetoh iit nhi milne ka gum bhi college ke 2nd year tak rha tha or ye tab jab is exam k liye bas 2 saal prep karte. 

now imagine how deeply engraved in your mind something must become if you had been in it for 7-8 years. can time really heal this ? this too shall pass but not immediately not tomorrow not next year but in years. so after enduring pain and grief for 7-8 years of prep you have to endure at least 2-3 more years of pain and sadness - essentially a decade worth of nothing but tears.

granted one must suffer the consequences of one’s decisions. we chose this path willingly out of our own free will with full  knowledge of the risks involved. but it still hurts and no amount of reasoning , rationalising , tark vitark can lessen the pain. it’s like it’squite  easy to preach someone who is depressed that do this, do that , do yoga ,  but it’s only when you yourself are afflicted with it that you understand how hard it is for a depressed person to summon the willpower to even get out of bed let alone do yoga etc. likewise only the person facing this qsn can understand what kind of completely heartbreaking situation it is to be in. 

DM,Foucault1and14 otherslike this
2.3k views

D503said

today happens to be the last day of 2023 and tomorrow another year would have passed. and right after waking up i knew this is not going to be a good day. i could already foresee the glimpses of the old familiar dark blob of feelings hovering around.  each passing year brings me closer to the question that i used to ask veterans when i was starting upsc prep - jinka nhi hota upsc wo kya karte. i never thought one day it would be me on the other side face to face with this question. i am almost done with upsc and now i think it’s not so much about wo kya karte hai but more about jo bhi karte hai usme kabhi khush reh paate hai kya knowing that they pursued something obsessively sacrificing everything for it (money, time, age, relationships etc) and still didn’t get it.   mujhetoh iit nhi milne ka gum bhi college ke 2nd year tak rha tha or ye tab jab is exam k liye bas 2 saal prep karte. 

now imagine how deeply engraved in your mind something must become if you had been in it for 7-8 years. can time really heal this ? this too shall pass but not immediately not tomorrow not next year but in years. so after enduring pain and grief for 7-8 years of prep you have to endure at least 2-3 more years of pain and sadness - essentially a decade worth of nothing but tears.

granted one must suffer the consequences of one’s decisions. we chose this path willingly out of our own free will with full  knowledge of the risks involved. but it still hurts and no amount of reasoning , rationalising , tark vitark can lessen the pain. it’s like it’squite  easy to preach someone who is depressed that do this, do that , do yoga ,  but it’s only when you yourself are afflicted with it that you understand how hard it is for a depressed person to summon the willpower to even get out of bed let alone do yoga etc. likewise only the person facing this qsn can understand what kind of completely heartbreaking situation it is to be in. 

Yes brother, it's like an injury scar which might get healed with time but the impression shall forever persist. As a person with strong faith all I feel is that God has a plan for us all. God knows better what should work for us. All we can do is endure with faith (if we have one). I strongly feel that the key to happiness and peace is gratefulness. 


Jajantaram Mamantaram
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Bravesaid

@KingSlayer23 100% agree on this. 
I am out of this cycle and working from a year in a private sector. And I feel the same as you regarding upskilling.
Btw , which sources did you use to learn cloud computing ? And which skills are you eyeing now to learn in future?( Just curious to know)


Hey, I think I do remember your username as well :D glad to know you’re doing well. Coming to the question, there are some good resources on udemy like Stephane maarek’s courses on AWS and Scott Duffy for Microsoft azure. What I did was I learned a bit of networking basics and then decided to learn major cloud platforms like AWS and Microsoft Azure. 

My challenge was that I was coming from a gap of almost 5 years with no skill and no work ex, so not only I needed skill but also credibility so that HR would at least give me an interview call. Therefore I thought of taking the certificate exams of Microsoft Azure and AWS. I had initially planned only 1 certificate (either of the two, as they can be a bit expensive in terms of fee) but I ended up passing three :P 

aws certified cloud practitioner 

aws certified developer associate 

azure Certified cloud administrator (az 104) 

Guess once you have taken on something like upsc prelims, other exams don’t feel too challenging. Anyway I probably didn’t necessarily need all three but it helped. 

In the coming year well lets see, assuming I get through prelims again I think once mains are done I’ll try to pick up more DevOps tools like Ansible,kubbernetes, docker and jenkins. These are cloud agnostic environment tools


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