The Battle of Irrational and Rational

As a man, today I will like to present an eternal battle that I constantly face in my mind about women's rights. This write-up is inspired by a recent sensational murder case, which unraveled the gruesome reality of women's safety.

Before revealing my thoughts, I would like to confess that I have my own biases owing to my upbringing, my observations & experiences, etc. I am an ordinary man and it's impossible to be a human without biases. However, I am willing to carefully observe my thoughts and modify them as and when I am exposed to new perspectives. Okay, let's get the ball rolling!

More than two decades have passed in the 21st century now. The time has changed and the values of equality, non-discrimination, rights, freedom, etc. have left an indelible print on the world. But what about god's most compassionate creation in the world- A woman? Someone has wisely said,'Men are governed by lines of intellect, women are governed by curves of emotion'.

Emotions are strengths as well as weaknesses and considering this, some try to exploit them. The same was witnessed in this much-hyped case. It raised a plethora of questions, arguments, and counterarguments in my mind. And I will like to examine them today.

The First Question: Why do women fall prey to the shrewd tactics of vagabonds? Apart from the emotional vulnerability of women, there are other reasons like women's wish to have an adventurous life, overconfidence in their ability to decipher the true character of men, the role of mass media, the demonstration effect, and her acute volition to lead her own life. Sometimes they fall prey to the mask a man is wearing to impress her.

The Second Question: Is she wrong in deciding her own life without taking her family or any others' views into consideration? Perhaps not, but then whose responsibility is it when things go awry? It sometimes may appear that family knows better for their daughters but then why do we have so many cases of domestic violence? What would have I done if I were a brother or a father of her and what am I ought to do? Suddenly the ignorant version of myself says, it's her responsibility, she chose that man, and thus, she deserved the consequences, and this Ravana within me quietly laughs at her helplessness. But my compassionate self says, Are mistakes not allowed in anyone's life? Didn't she deserve support from the state and the family? Shouldn't I deploy empathy to know her side of the story? Where is my value of forgiveness? Why do we allow such barbaric persons in society who devastated the life of a chirpy girl? Where are her rights and freedom? What was the state doing? Why didn't the police take any action when they got a written complaint? What could I have done differently if I were a police officer? What would have been my thought process if I were a girl by birth?

The Third Question: Why do these men commit violence against women? Not just heinous crimes, other crimes are common too such as domestic violence. Having seen the domestic violence in the neighborhood, I will agree with the data that more than 50% of women victims don't even seek help. It has become so normal in our society that the very conscience of the citizens is at risk of dying now. People 'enjoy' such fights as if it doesn't impact them at all. If someone had raised a voice against that man earlier, the story could have been entirely different. And then there are intellectuals, who argue that the Domestic Violence Act is one of the most misused acts. The orthodox nature of a man for a woman is to treat her like his chattel, he wants to subdue and control her so that he could abuse her both physically and psychologically. The philosophical man wants her to excel in her interests, he wants her happiness at any cost, and he wants to act as a support system and an enabler for a fulfilling life. One side wants a wife and servant and the other wants a partner and companion. Men commit such crimes 1) when they take her for granted 2) when they feel that she is devoid of any support system 3) when they see that the state is cowardly in protecting women 4) when they treat her just as a sex toy 5) when they sense that society is ignorant, etc. In any case, the violence against women is unjustifiable and despicable.

The Fourth Question: Where will the women go to seek help? In our heavily patriarchal society, husbands are revered and the family of a woman forces her to stay back and endure rather than seeking help. The society acts as a mute spectator when she is experiencing violence and it suddenly becomes vociferous if she leaves, gets a divorce, and begins a new life, or even if she is taking time in choosing the right partner.

We all have irrational and rational residing within us. Now, I will like to press a break on my chain of thoughts and allow you to contemplate on arguments of mine that you think are rational and irrational.