Mains 2023 - In or out?

HermoineGrangersaid

@tedmosby @LetsGetThisBread @GaryVee When deserving people like you are not in the list, it breaks heart and the success in this exam seems even more elusive. I was expecting your selection as well, have been a silent observant here on this platform since last 3-4 years and have admired your focus, hard work and consistency.
Hope you get the deserving rewards for all the hard work you have put, whether in UPSC or elsewhere. 

Ashutoshguptasaid

Out with Sociology optional. I was expecting at least an interview call this year. Did all the right things post pre 2022 failure. Papers in exam went fine as well ( except optional paper 1, but that also was not too messed up). Was scoring good in mocks. No idea what went so wrong. A close friend of mine committed suicide day before yesterday (Non UPSC friend, was a doctor at safdarjung). Just too much to handle at once. Heart feels very heavy and mind isnt working properly. Have been having anxiety since last 3-4 months.

Slowly trying to get back up, one day at a time. Have decided 2024 will be the last and final attempt. 

dravidpujarasaid

Did not do justice to GS last year due to poor recollection. This year created short notes, wrote tests. Revised short notes before every simulation. Revised them before the actual papers. Dipin sir had good words to say this year about me throughout the course which made me feel really good before the papers. In one of the lectures he acknowledged me in class. I made the video of it in my phone camera and used to listen to it everytime I felt low. Being an online student, it was my form of social connect. It helped me stay calm and be confident. I had much better MGP scores this year than 2022.
Made blunders in essay last year (82), joined a crash course this year. Then wrote essay tests to find myself in the Top 10 rankers. The actual essay paper went pretty well. I was particularly happy with my introductions and arguments.
Got 256 in Optional last year and had a very similar attempt this year (Add the extra short notes I made apart from basic intro-conclusion templates which were there from last year; Also had more map entries in Paper 2 than last year i.e. Knew 5 last year, this year 9 (Geography Opt); Much broader and elaborate use of case studies this time) 
I was very satisfied with my attempt this time.
I hardly told anyone that I expect to clear. But deep down I was very confident of getting an interview call even in the worst case (Optional getting butchered) 
The 0 of 0 and No results found have cut me deep. Never have I been so broken in life than this time. My housing society had its cricket tournament the day after the results. Because I had already committed and had paid the contribution I did not back out after the results. For the first time in my life, I was thinking of something else while playing cricket. For the first time I was sad while holding a bat. Dropped a few catches as well as I was not switched on. My mind kept showing me the pdf.
This exam has taken a huge toll on me. I kept on believing that this was my year. Through all the lows, Through the borderline Prelims score. Through the tough days. Through every morning where I felt I could not do more I kept going.
This one's gonna prick for a really long time. Who says time takes care of things.
What's the point of buying autobiographies of civil servants and reading them if I cannot even clear Mains. Nothing seems to make sense right now. 
3 years gone in the bin.