@Siddhurules To add to what@sbhati513590 said above, most often we don't understand this as even a problem. In my case, keeping the self-esteem high along with repeated failures is the most difficult task. Leave UPSC preparation, even if i am discussing something in my family or having casual talks with my friends, I am speaking in a tone that has lost conviction. There is a constant judgemental filter inside my head that screens every thing i say. Even i cannot talk eye-to-eye with my friends/parents. After this thread surfaced, I felt kind of relieved, because everyone understands failure/broken confidence, but no one speaks of the issue of erosion of one's self worth.
It happens. I feel low when friends discuss their salary, how they enjoyed their vacation in Delhi etc. I start to judge myself for leaving my job and coming into preparation which has left us in mid of nowhere. But perhaps, as said in aspirant web series, it's not because of our determination or will to serve people but because of our EGO. Our ego makes us think that we aren't successful and so, we don't have any self-esteem within us. But its not like that. Our self-esteem will remain high if we keep thinking that we are worthy enough. If not a worthy aspirant(Not true entirely but let's assume for now), I am a worthy human, a worthy son, a worthy brother, a worthy family person. This struggle, this pain of failure had made me tough to stand all the adversaries coming in the future before us after being a civil servant(And yes, I will become a Civil Servant!). This 13 months of struggle after leaving my job had made me more aware and HUMANE than those 2 years of being in a Corporate job and I am happy with my decision. Maybe this self-satisfaction even being nothing is uplifting my self-esteem nowadays.
@Brave For me it is Radiohead. That should not come as a surprise if you have listened to “Creep”. 😅
Wait, I just remembered thissong. I did not know it was a cover though.
By the way, I did pick up the book.(Studying endlessly and then sitting in exam with low self esteem/confidence will do me no good). I was so surprised to find that it also talks about loving yourself.(Similar to thissong).
This is a great topic for conversation, and for me personally, taking a microdose of cannabis that I buy here https://www.shroomsdirect.io/product/maui/ helps to maintain a good mood throughout the day. You may even have read some scientific papers and studies about the positive effects of weed for stress, anxiety, PTSD, so I encourage everyone to learn more about it.