Since everyone is sharing their ordeal I'll share mine too.
Graduated in 2016, cleared CAT, got into IIM Lucknow. I wanted to prepare for civils and MBA was not catching up with me so dropped out of it in 2017 and started preparing for UPSC in 2017 from home. Joined an online test series prepared for the whole year diligently. Then came the exam and I fell ill. I was prepared but in the exam hall, I realised my speed was slow because in an online test we do not fill bubbles and I could only attempt 75 odd questions. Missed pre by 4 marks. I was devastated. Could not touch books for months. Came in 2019 and I messed it up again. I knew I need to change the whole approach to this exam so I shifted to Delhi. My CA was lacking so joined Dipin sir's CA classes. Cleared 2020 prelims. Joined vision test series for GS and they'd take 30-35 days for test review. Could only write 3 tests. Mains went average. Missed the cutoff by 15 marks. I left 80 marks worth of questions.
I started again keeping in mind all the issues I had, cleared 2021 prelims, joined 2 test series for mains so that I could write more tests, one at the forum and one at another place. Wrote enough tests. The exam went extremely well. I could feel the positive changes in paper completion and approach. I was very confident of clearing this mains so I started preparing for the interview. Then to the result and my roll no. was missing from the pdf. I've never been this broken. It feels like the result came yesterday. This wound is going to take a long time to recover. Utterly devastated, broken, and humbled.
Totally clueless. I've got no idea what went wrong. I did everything that was asked for.
My family is really supportive and I've never applied for any other exam except CAPF in 2018 and cleared it. Did not appear for the interview for I want only AIS.
Now, I lay alone in my room in Delhi hoping to fade into my bed by some miracle.
Graduated in 2016, cleared CAT, got into IIM Lucknow. I wanted to prepare for civils and MBA was not catching up with me so dropped out of it in 2017 and started preparing for UPSC in 2017 from home. Joined an online test series prepared for the whole year diligently. Then came the exam and I fell ill. I was prepared but in the exam hall, I realised my speed was slow because in an online test we do not fill bubbles and I could only attempt 75 odd questions. Missed pre by 4 marks. I was devastated. Could not touch books for months. Came in 2019 and I messed it up again. I knew I need to change the whole approach to this exam so I shifted to Delhi. My CA was lacking so joined Dipin sir's CA classes. Cleared 2020 prelims. Joined vision test series for GS and they'd take 30-35 days for test review. Could only write 3 tests. Mains went average. Missed the cutoff by 15 marks. I left 80 marks worth of questions.
I started again keeping in mind all the issues I had, cleared 2021 prelims, joined 2 test series for mains so that I could write more tests, one at the forum and one at another place. Wrote enough tests. The exam went extremely well. I could feel the positive changes in paper completion and approach. I was very confident of clearing this mains so I started preparing for the interview. Then to the result and my roll no. was missing from the pdf. I've never been this broken. It feels like the result came yesterday. This wound is going to take a long time to recover. Utterly devastated, broken, and humbled.
Totally clueless. I've got no idea what went wrong. I did everything that was asked for.
My family is really supportive and I've never applied for any other exam except CAPF in 2018 and cleared it. Did not appear for the interview for I want only AIS.
Now, I lay alone in my room in Delhi hoping to fade into my bed by some miracle.
Dear kind people of Forum,
You guys have been very kind and supportive. I remember when I started my journey of CSE, I was in Bhopal and my only contact with the CSE environment was through Forum only. Those were the data of Santara, Queen, Pizza etc. Gradually new people kept replacing the old ones. One thing though, that remained common was the mutual support and motivation this platform gives to aspirants.
I am in a better state as compared to 17th march. Time for the ritual of rearranging the desk, notes and getting ready to grind. Let's get it done properly this time. My optional is sociology. I've written 2 mains. I'll try to be more expressive on Forum instead of being a silent observer.
As far as the spirit is concerned, obviously down but not dead. After every single failure, I tell myself that do everything which you thought I should have done during the anxious periods before exams last year. Ans success I think is more like Gandalf the grey "It is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to".
to quote Rahat sahab, "सितारें नोच कर ले जाऊँगा, मैं खाली हाथ घर जाने का नहीं"
You guys have been very kind and supportive. I remember when I started my journey of CSE, I was in Bhopal and my only contact with the CSE environment was through Forum only. Those were the data of Santara, Queen, Pizza etc. Gradually new people kept replacing the old ones. One thing though, that remained common was the mutual support and motivation this platform gives to aspirants.
I am in a better state as compared to 17th march. Time for the ritual of rearranging the desk, notes and getting ready to grind. Let's get it done properly this time. My optional is sociology. I've written 2 mains. I'll try to be more expressive on Forum instead of being a silent observer.
As far as the spirit is concerned, obviously down but not dead. After every single failure, I tell myself that do everything which you thought I should have done during the anxious periods before exams last year. Ans success I think is more like Gandalf the grey "It is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to".
to quote Rahat sahab, "सितारें नोच कर ले जाऊँगा, मैं खाली हाथ घर जाने का नहीं"
