This 28th, I turned 29 and I'm writing this on 30th...
Synchronized u see..
Well, I never in my wildest of thoughts expected to be here like this at this point. My vision was:-
By 28:- I'll be an ias, be married, maybe in having a baby or in process of the same. MATLAB SB KUCH SET..
And here I am writing to u guys... With none of the boxes ticked off my list.
So?
So kya?
Does it mean that i hv stopped dreaming?
Naa..
I think the process is delayed..
But yes I feel broken & shattered. I trust that maybe something better is destined for me.
Baki dukh to hota hi h yr, I'm not that mahaan.. Ki koi farak nhi padta..
It hurts of course..
U see... I didn't like it on my b'day because probably it reminds me of how I failed to achieve what I desired.
But I hope that maybe somewhere down the road I'll be blessed with a b'day where I won't be scared of the day..
Where maybe I'll look forward to it..
Maybe I'll wake up to roses & lillies and red carpet under my feet... U see Disney fairytale...
Ya i know it can be other way round & me being Cinderella..
But I read somewhere that your mind is stay for your thoughts atleast make the stay a pleasant one...
Are papa ki pari sarkari babu shona na hi bani to kya... Ho skta h kisi aur field ki madhuri dixit ban jae...
Socho to changa..hoya to theek nahi to theek ( think good.. If it happens good if doesn't still good).
Until next time..
Tata
@unacheivednirvana, you already are a Madhuri Dixit for us all.
We all dreamt big things for ourselves. And a lot of us are living those dreams at the age of 23-24. But yeh naa thi humari kismat. If everything had gone as we planned, it wouldn't be life na? It would be a Sanjay Leela Bhansali staarer larger-than-life period piece. I am 26. If you go back in time and tell the 16-year-old Abhi what all he would achieve in his next 10 years, he would probably be so so so sad (and probably waste his next 10 years in that sadness).
The only dilasa is that we wake up everyday and try making every hour count. And sooner or later, things would work out. Like, you said, if UPSC nahi toh kuch aur sahi. But till we are in the game, we are going to give all that we have.
After all this, I genuienly feel that failure is a blessing. Not in angur-khatte-hai way, but sach much me. Some days ago, I was listening to a podcast on Nietzsche. These are some line I've saved. Kaafi enlightening & insightful.
To Nietzsche, suffering provides the only test by which a person’s worth can be determined. In other words, the person who can endure the greatest suffering is the greatest of men. “To those human beings who are of any concern to me I wish suffering, desolation, sickness, ill-treatment, indignities – I wish that they should not remain unfamiliar with profound self-contempt, the torture of self-mistrust, the wretchedness of the vanquished: I have no pity for them, because I wish them the only thing that can prove today whether one is worth anything or not – that one endures.”
Happy Birthday. :)
Happy Birthday@unacheivednirvana . Another straight from the heart piece.